Highlights

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Real psychotherapy is not meant to be a feel-good balm. Its purpose is not to leave sessions in a better mood. It is to help us understand how we unknowingly contribute to our own difficulties and change that.

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The purpose of psychotherapy is not to dwell on pain for its own sake. It’s not about ruminating, wallowing, or berating ourselves for past mistakes. It is about seeing ourselves with clear, open eyes so we don’t make the same mistakes again and don’t have to repeat the same unhappy outcomes. This kind of pain is growing pain.

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