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- Tags: cultura estrés evolución parentalidad
[!summary]Parents today often focus too much on entertaining their children, which can lead to stress for both kids and adults. Instead, adopting a “mindful underparenting” approach, where children observe adults and learn to tolerate boredom, can foster creativity and independence. Creating environments that allow children to roam and explore with less direct supervision can benefit their development and help parents manage their own stress. [!note]
Artículo me parece interesante desde muchas perspectivas: mi experiencia personal como padre, como psicoterapeuta de padres/madres, y en mi relación con sistemas educativos. Hay un empuje cultural muy potente hacia la “crianza respetuosa” (straw man) que tiene costos silenciosos. Es importante pensar críticamente al respecto. En el ámbito personal, me debato entre la familia de mi señora, que cría muy bien e intensivamente, y la mía, en donde hay conductas que pueden hasta parecer negligentes… ¿Dónde está el límite? ¿Cómo identificarlo y defenderlo justificadamente?
Highlights
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I recently spoke with an anthropologist named Barry Hewlett who studies child-rearing in hunter-gatherer societies in Central Africa. He explained to me that children in those societies spend lots of time with their parents — they tag along throughout the day and often help with tasks like foraging — but they are rarely the main object of their parents’ attention. Sometimes bored, sometimes engaged, these kids spend much of their time observing adults doing adult things.
Al evaluar cualquier declaración sobre estilos de crianza, es importante tener como parámetro o referente la historia evolutiva de este fenómeno.
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This intensive, often frantic style of parenting requires a lot more effort than the style Professor Hewlett described. I found myself thinking about those hunter-gatherers last month when I read the advisory from the surgeon general, Vivek Murthy, warning that many parents are stressed to their breaking point.
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For most of human history, people had lots of kids, and children hung out in intergenerational social groups in which they were not heavily supervised. Your average benign-neglect day care is probably closer to the historical experience of child care than that of a kid who spends the day alone with a doting parent.
Interesante, sin embargo, frente a los argumentos evolucionistas, uno siempre podría oponer el argumento de que no porque siempre se haya hecho de esa manera, no hay formas de optimizar la crianza en un nicho ecológico moderno, en donde muchas de las necesidades de las sociedades tribales ya se encuentran cubiertas.
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mindful underparenting
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More important, following adults around gives children the tremendous gift of learning to tolerate boredom, which fosters patience, resourcefulness and creativity. There is evidence from neuroscience that a resting brain is not an idle one. The research tells us that the mind gets busy when it is left alone to do its own thing — in particular, it tends to think about other people’s minds. If you want to raise empathetic, imaginative children who can figure out how to entertain themselves, don’t keep their brains too occupied
¿Cómo pensar esta misma observación desde el sistema educacional, en donde hay constante presión para hacer que cada momento sea productivo en términos de desarrollo y aprendizaje?
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helicopter parents
en línea con los propuesto por Jonathan Haidt.
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In an ideal world, we would set children loose to roam free outdoors, unsupervised
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create safe environments where lightly supervised kids can roam freely.